Why I don't do guilt anymore:

I Don’t Do Guilt


My cousin Silas Earl and I had been swimming in the creek. It was time for him to go home. I thought it would be fun to put something down his shirt so I scooped up a water skipper and slipped it down his collar. It wasn’t funny like I thought – the skipper bit him. I didn’t know they would bite. I felt bad about it. He and his family left. I’m hanging back and not saying good bye, because I’m sorry and ashamed. That was the last time I ever saw him alive.

Within a week or two we heard that he had the Mumps, a week, or two after that he had Scarlet Fever along with the Mumps. A week or two later he died. I simply refused to believe he was dead. The day came for the funeral and everyone was dressed to go –except me. When Dad asked me why I wasn’t ready I explained that if I didn’t go I could go on believing that he was alive. I could believe that any day Uncle Latent would come driving down our road with Silas Earl and he and I could go back to pulling pranks on each other.

Dad sat down next to me and taught me a few things.

He told me that death is not a thing to fear. We all die. From the moment we begin to breath we begin to die. In fact we came here to die. It doesn’t matter when we die, if we are young or old, the important thing is how we lived our life. If we have lived our life with honesty and truth then God will welcome us home and say well done thou good and faithful servant.

I have never feared death since.

The other thing he said was that we don’t go to the funeral for the person who died but for those left behind. We go to show respect and Aunt Hazel and Uncle Latent were going to be very hurt if I wasn’t there.

The third thing I learned from this experience took some time to sink in. When Silas Earl left that day I was sorry and ashamed and I never got the chance to say that. It took years before I realized he had forgave me. But it taught me to keep the slate clean and never carry guilt. Always say sorry, I forgive you, and I love you right then – at the time – because you may never get the chance again. Always be honest about it, repent, and forgive yourself. Keep the slate clean and don’t do guilt.