When Love Makes You Crazy

The examples given below are actual dialogue from my life experiences. Names have been changed. These defense tactics, whether used by a child, spouse, sibling or other, work all too well but if you know about them, you don’t have to be the victim. I am so grateful that I found Kim and Steve Cooper and grew a backbone. Do any of these examples sound familiar?
Example:
During an argument with his wife Al stated, “Jim threatened me.”
“I don’t believe that,” Sue responded “Why would he do that?”
“Because he’s having an affair with you and wants me out of the way.”
“That’s crazy. Why would you think that?”
“Because I heard you tell Alice you wanted to move in with him.”
“I did no such thing.”

Defense Tactic: Confabulation, noun, meaning to converse or to speak. In psychology a fabricated narration told as truth.

Sue grabbed the phone and began dialing. “Alice, did I ever say to you that I wanted to move in with Jim?”
Alice answered, “No.”
“Would you please tell Al that?” Sue offered the phone to Al and he refused to take it.

Example:

Sally truly loved everyone including Jack. She thought of him as her son and always invited him to family gatherings. The grandchildren loved to have Jack come and he seemed to enjoy being with them. Sudenly he stopped visiting and when Sally asked him about it he made it her fault. While Sally did not understand what she had done to cause this, she cried and apologized profusely.

Defense Tactic: Gaslighting, verb, meaning arrogant intimidation. Stalling. Psychological abuse in which one individual tries to make another individual believe an untruth.

Example:

When asked about her behavior Jane stated, “I have no need to defend myself.” Another time she said, “I have no desire to help you understand anything.”

Defense Tactic: Stonewalling, verb. Delaying tactics. Refusing to talk. Ignoring request or questions.

At one time Kim Cooper was being stonewalled by her husband Steve. As you can imagine this made life very disorganized and confusing. Kim loved Steve and did not want the marriage to end in divorce but things could not go on the way they were. By following her insides Kim was able to make some changes in her own life that eventually caused Steve to change.

Today Kim and Steve run a web site that offers help to those who love someone with similar problems. Steve now talks openly about the tactics he used to keep Kim confused so that he could feel safe with her and continue his double life. Together they are now able to help both the abuser and the abused as they relate their experiences in the e-books, weekly emails and videos offered on the site.

As in the example of gaslighting given above, many people wonder if they are the one starting the fights. Kim has three questions that accurately identifies the abuser from the abused. In the search for her own answers, Kim has taken the advice of professionals and put it into layman’s terms in her e-books. You can find Kim and Steve Cooper on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Kim-and-Steve-Cooper-of-Fightbusters-and-The-Love-Safety-Net/118928306447 or go directly to their site at http://www.narcissismcured.com
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